Autumn unmistakably set in. The nights are significantly longer, and the evenings start earlier, partly due to the setting of summer time. In a "normal" autumn we would stay indoors a bit more by ourselves and we would prepare for parties such as ‘Sinterklaas’ and Christmas. But are we going to celebrate these parties? The huge increase in online sales suggests it is, or is it just a buyout of the miserable feelings about COVID-19?

We are expected to stay in our own bubble to avoid further contamination. We can still go outside to buy food, to take a walk. We can receive three people at home. I did not have this in mind at the beginning of the year. And Fauci expects that it will not become clear until the beginning of December whether any of the corona vaccines currently being tested are safe and effective, and that widespread use of the vaccine will not be possible until mid-2021. And then it is not at all clear whether the transport companies get the vaccine in the right places because of the special requirements that are placed on transport.

In short: we will still have to be patient, have some courage, and stay away from each other for a while. Would you like to make a new online purchase to make the coming days a bit more festive?







We do read about the incredibly large numbers of people who have fallen victim to COVID-19 ... we today do see the first helicopters with patients flying to a nearby country where they are kind enough to take care of them ... we do hear the sad stories of people who cannot accompany their beloved ones in hospitals far away ... we do feel limited now by not being able to move freely or visit the people who matter uninhibitedly ...

How will we look at this in a year? Will we have a vaccine available for everyone in a year? Is there still a happy future? Can we ever embrace each other again as before? What would a first kiss feel like after more than a year?

How are we going to do this? Are we careful enough now when shopping? How do we stay healthy? Am I doing enough to avoid COVID-19? Are we all doing enough to defeat COVID-19? Are digital and telephone contacts sufficient to survive these dire times?

YES, we will persist! My partner at a very great distance, the people who matter to me, the people close to… Yes, we keep going on! You too ?

"Wonders are waiting to start" (Ross)




You have read all the newspapers, your house is in order, you have already walked all the rounds in your area, you saw the umpteenth interpretation of corona experts on the TV. And now ? Making your own food - even more often -, safely in your own kitchen? For me it is always a pleasure to place a tasty, full meal on the table in front of the TV with the 6:00 PM news based on a limited amount of fresh products.

Never cooked for yourself before ? Have you gotten into it now? Do you have time now? Did you too experience the warmth and pleasure of - now that it is already getting dark around 5 o'clock - lights on in the kitchen, of a lot of things to cut and prepare, of the scents of fresh vegetables, the hissing sounds of baking meat or meat substitutes, and some herbs from a jar ? No "haute cuisine" is needed, just feasible dishes. Recognizable ?

And then I saw that my kitchen is not so cleverly furnished and that some sustainable tools are still missing. The sequel is easy to guess. Enjoy your meal !






Thousands of Frenchmen all over the country on Sunday, October 18, honored the memory of history teacher Samuel Patit, who was killed by a terrorist. The actions were held in such cities as Paris, Marseille, Toulouse, Bordeaux, Lyon and others.

Prime Minister Jean Castex: "You will not be able to split and intimidate us. France is indivisible,”

Will we all be silent for a moment at 16:30 today ? Will teachers be free to discuss what has to be discussed?


HOMAGE / YouTube

ADIEU / YouTube



Robot wrote an article

The news: Russia Offers U.S. One-Year Freeze on Nuclear Warhead Numbers • Covid-19 Live Updates: Volunteers to Be Infected With Coronavirus in Vaccine Study • East and West Meet Over Borshch Deliciously • U.S. to Accuse Google of Protecting Illegal Monopoly • Russia Dismisses Links to Chechen Accused of Beheading French Teacher • Microphones to be muted in final US debate • Danish submarine killer Madsen caught in prison escape • Colorado battles a record-breaking wildfire • US election 2020: How would Biden change foreign policy ? • Why Victorians defy COVID-19 lockdown rules • Trump signals Sudan removal from terror list • This text has NOT been written by a robot



to love ...

to love somebody - cohen

Do you have a lover? Do you have a silent love? Did you already approached your intended love with a sweet text? Do you have a partner that you love so much? Yes, in these impossibly difficult times of COVID-19, it would be nice to feel being supported by your partner, by your lover. Today… now… it is a great support when you are assured of unconditional loyalty from a partner, near or far… And when you are alone:

“May you be surrounded by friends and family, and if this is not your lot , may the blessings find you in your solitude ” (Cohen)

ps I do know the unconditional loyalty of a partner, 2500 kms away….

COHEN / YouTube




I do support the meaning of a-social = unadapted when it comes to a small part of the population that refuses to adapt to what is expected of us (socius = ally) in times of a pandemic. Too late intervention by the government, insufficient international scientific orientation of RIVM / OMT, but certainly also the inappropriate behavior of a small group of people caused an unnecessarily large group of COVID-19 victims. Everyone knows a number of these victims: deceased persons / or a permanently impaired lung function / or are left with a bankrupt case / or with no prospect of meeting partners elsewhere in the world / or placed on a waiting list for necessary operations / or young people who are unable to meet a desired partner / or cannot leave their 3x1 balconies.

For the well-intentioned: we will keep it up, also in phase 4. HMQ Elisabeth: “We'll meet again!”. We must continue to appeal to the few unadapted about their non-allies behavior.





Today you would have turned 94 years old… would you have wanted to experience it? It is always another day that starts with fog and always ends in fog.

The current restrictions in travel behavior due to COVID-19 prevented me from visiting your grave today, but the image of you is alive, and so are the memories of you. Tonight I toast to you with your beloved beer, Palm!





Only Time

Spring 2002. An ultimate attempt to find back a child back in the world. 19 years young. Sixteen springs completely out of the picture. There was also a search by her. An old first computer was used, as well as a first chat program, ICQ. Looking for what was unreachable. Hundreds of people with an unusual name. A gamble. I “Hi!”. She: "Is that you?". Me: “Yes!”. She: “I can no longer see the text, all colors are mixed up”. Then it went fast into a first meeting where we gave each other an identical CD. Enya. The @ became the symbolic knot in the handkerchief. For over a long time. But again a long period of distance. By a dumb coincidence the @ now is a strong symbol again. WhatsApp's red and green apple are too. Does coincidence exist ?

ENYA / YouTube  



Traces of War

During the night of the 9th May, 1941 a British bomber was shot down above the IJsselmeer by the Germans. It was a Vickers Wellington with six crew members, of which two are still missing. Because the aircraft had bombs on board, it had to recovered. Drainage a part of the IJsselmeer has been used in order to recover the plane. It was the first time it happened this way in the Netherlands. The recovery will took about a month.

Finally going home, with a touching salute.


Traces of War




then ... I had a wonderful chat with a student who has been unable to attend my classes for an extended period of time ... I admired the strength of this 17 year old student who has to use powerful drugs to stay afloat.

after that ... you can hardly comprehend the needs of some students, their desire to be 'someone', especially when there are no more supportive parents ... I have committed to making room for him every day

today ... I no longer work there ... there is a terrible virus ... I lost sight of him.

Children's Mental Health



Le temps passe

Voilà, je suis là ... avec les émotions d'une soirée qui ne veut tout simplement pas devenir une nuit …

Here I am ... there ... with the emotions of a night that just won't turn into night ... I could control a lot of things, but not the choices of the former husbands, and certainly not the young ones after me. ... the choices that have to be made now in the time that remains are not light-hearted ... waiting for great happiness is tiring and does not give me peace ... I make my choices ... time flies ...

Le temps passe



ADRI & JOHN DEERE year 2005

Special ... very special ...

Almost 15 years ago - on a Friday afternoon - I had an unforgettable experience with contractor Adri at Wilhelminadorp: a large number of back and forth rides in a JD 8850 (?) With an 8-scissors plow.

Why was it so special?

Click the file below.

ADRI English.pdf




You don't know how far the inches of your life are going to reach. You know which centimeters you already made. In times of COVID-19, you don't make that many real inches out the door. Then now you probably have time to look for what you find in your home and / or in your memories of past product names. Does CASTROL mean anything to you? Or maybe COLGATE ?

Brands / UK

Brands / US

Brands / World




February 1956. Ice cold. At least half a meter of snow on the way to the 'Brunsveld' shop. With "the" booklet and a bag. Snowplows have cleared a narrow path, with walls of snow higher than my height. The sound of a low-flying plane frightened me: I'm going to be buried by the snowplow, that's what was in my mind. The plane was invisible. With a bag full of things and a candy from the "tray" back to home again. The coal stove is burning. Coal size 4. For the fright I a few days later "helped" with baking bread and making speculaas, in the bakery of Brunsveld. Cutting dots on the white bread was my specialty!


Severe winters / UK



Valentina Irlando

Especially in times of organized or self-imposed isolation (as a result of the COVID-19 virus), happy news is welcome alwyas. On Instagram I got in touch with Valentina Irlando, a now 14-year-old who plays fantastic music through this medium, initially by means of the piano. And there are already real concerts! Meanwhile, progress has also been made in playing the cello. Is it special? Yes, this seems to be impossible due to her muscle disease. But it is possible! Admiration!



Website Valentina



Into the Wild

In times of COVID-19, people often are thrown back to themselves. Friendships and relationships are sometimes impossible to maintain physically through mandatory or voluntary quarantine which demands quite a lot of what "human beings are by nature". People need peers to support them, to encourage them ... while they nowadays are only there by Whatsapp, Facebook or telephone, a single letter, or short visits with 1.5 meters apart.

McCandless once chose the wilderness and stayed on the "Magic Bus", but eventually returned home to friends and family. “There is only real happiness when shared with others”. Bus 142 also went home many years later, with the help of a helicopter.

Search for bus 142

BUS 142 going home

Going home by helicopter




Winter 1959. At the occasion of 'Sinterklaas', I got new toys - at Grandpa P's house. An addition to the LEGO stock. A miniature VW bus. What a joy! There was even an almost automatic garage door, to be able to park the VW safely. What a pleasure ! How nice we were able to play with that, also during visits to the Breukelaar family, among others. Parents in the "nice room", children in the kitchen.

Winter 2005. Lack of food forced me to sell the VW. The car is now in an Austrian display case. The memories are sweet. The purchased food was shared.

LEGO collection




it giet oan ...

Brought out the gloves, dusted the winter coat, ran the many scarves through the washing machine, topped up the antifreeze in the car, mounted winter tires, replenished stocks of bacon-bean paste, stacked 5 cubic meters of wood, prepared the snow plow, mounted new lights in the Christmas lights, let the central heating run a test, a bucket of road salt is ready, some extra insulation installed in the kitchen, and the fat removed from the skates ... waiting for winter ... 'ït giet oan’ … tomorrow it will be at least 30 degrees Celsius!

It giet oan / 1963 / YouTube



Your Favorite Tune

I recently too often received reports about people dealing with a brain tumor, both in the neighborhood and among friends of family members. Too often it has turned out to be an unequal battle. The patients saw their lives ruined, or sought a "different future" themselves. For them today there is a rose that reflects the ultimate beauty of life. And a song of recognition for those left behind.

VanWyck / Your Favorite Tune




W'll taste the Italian food together again. There will be lots of stories, lots of perspectives, lots of attention to animals around us, lots of plans. Strong ones of the ‘D’ crowd take steps over what separates each other, they know how to make the connection with the next part of life. We will have food on our table, we will have shoes to go on our feet.


FOOD & SHOES / Hooker

PASTA / Franco Pepe



jewish viennenese apfelstrudel

Regardless of the day, regardless of the time, but certainly always with the evening meal there is an extra dinner plate on the table here. And an empty seat. Originally a chair for the prophet Elijah, but now for people who can just pass by. A chair that you leave open for the stranger, a plate for the refugee. It appeals to our hospitality. It is an open seat, an untouched plate, for whom you expect, sometimes without knowing it. Now in times of COVID-19 no one can just come by.






without ...

Too many people have slipped away from us in the last 9 months. Too often, closed borders made it impossible for us to be present at mourning processes and funerals on both sides of the east-west border. We had to relocate too much stuff in a very short time, with only manpower that presented itself immediately without being asked and was available from stock. Without. We no longer have things that can glimpse the past, we just have the rich thoughts. Without. A special song, performed by a special group… we heard it during the moments of farewell. Without you ...




campsite ...

A rush. 2004. A desperate attempt to find a safe place. When a relationship ends, places to live must be determined. Mother and children stay at home. Father finds a place at a campsite. It is a reasonable solution, but not in a terribly cold winter.. Only the brave of the brave brought warm food, thank you! Initially no running water, no toilet, solitude on a 3 ha site. To work every working day. I flew kites on extremely long lines, hoping the twins would see. A ticket from one of the twins arrived with the address only: “MyName / campsite Rockanje“.





Straô ...

The environment in which I live is characterized by beaches / heavy storms from the southwest / fresh fish in Stellendam / space / land below sea level / bio-eggs in Ouddorp / salty air currents / views / traditions ... one of the traditions is Straô ... that is a time when from way back the horses from the farms go to the sea, in the spring, to wash their feet, to remove the straw, to have any wounds treated with salt water ... Many riders are dressed in traditional clothing ... it always is an impressive moment.





Aalten in foto's

My grandparents' home and also my grandfather's office (border traffic / duties). My memories: at 7 in the morning putting wood into the stove in grandfather's office - then breakfast with a white roll from baker Frederiks across the street - topped with a slice of luncheon meat, bought from the grocer Te Hennepe on the same street - all this accompanied by a 'mug' of hot chocolate - the beautiful vegetable garden behind the building - strolling around the site of clog maker Klompenhouwer, two doors away - steam trains and later DE3 and Plan X trains on the track '. Grandparents lived at Dijkstraat nr 33.



only time ---

An ice cream on the terrace. Mid 2019. My question to my mother: where did you first meet my father? Yes, that was when she was 18 or 19 years old, in a fire on an Obbink farm. “What a nice boy was there”. On the Internet I found a wonderful story by Annie Obbink in which the fire on the farm is mentioned. The fire was in 1942, during the war, my mother was 14 years old then 😉… (if the fire was after May).

Our dinner afterwards consisted of a vegetable soup, fried baby potatoes with fish / peas / carrots and macaroon custard. My mother seems resigned.





Leonard ...

The base of my music. Blues. French chansons. Flemish texts. The ballads. But then I eventually come back to Leonard Cohen. For decades I have attended his concerts. What attracts me to him? His songs from his depressions, his endless tendency to self-analysis, his incomparable lyrics, his powerful dark voice, his sensitivity to worldly temptations, his Jewish origin. I gave his first edition of "Beautiful Losers" to a graduate student, like I before my first sample of 'Songs of Love and Hate'.

my favorite ... LIKE A BIRD / 2009

the one and only COVER / 1980



after francis ...

A second storm year 2020. Francis. Beaufort 9. A great deal of the night I was awake questioning myself “ Will the roof move into farmers’ land ? Will neighbor’s trampoline stand the force ? Can my cat really fly ? Will the birches lose many leaves ? Into neighbors swimming pool maybe too ? Will my neighbor be angry ? “ The answers: NO – YES – NO – YES – YES – probably NO. I will send them more fresh strawberries. I absolutely prefer this kind of weather over those Mediterranean temperatures as we had some ten days ago.





You want to suffer ...

You will come back because you want to suffer “ (Oscar Carranza-Castañeda). Oh yes, how much I longed for that, 2001. I had the opportunity to assist Mr Oscar on the paleontological research in the San Miguel area. The teams discovered very important remnants of a.o. the oldest known Canis, the largest collection of Tertiary carnivores in Mexico, the oldest known remains in North America of South American immigrants, a record of Glypthotherium. 2008 I worked there second time. Lucky me !





I was born in a house linked to a school in IJzerlo. The first impressions of a "school-with-house" have not been erased: a white building, a white house, a long corridor, coal stoves, a conservatory with roses. IJzerlo 13. There was no telephone connection. Running to farmer Derk who took my little brother with a hole in his head to the doctor in the village. VW Beetle. Around the age of five to the next house, again next to a school. This school building became, among other things, a horse stable. Now it is a private house.





For six months now, we have been thrown back on ourselves by Covid-19. In those six months I had 12 live conversations only. It also brought peace, a desired pause. WhatsApp and Telegram made my world bigger. YouTube released new music on the advice of a friend and former colleague. Joe Bonamassa, a guitar virtuoso.





Summer 1955. As a very young child I already managed to escape from the parents. To the farmland opposite our house, the land of "Uncle Etwiek". This man harvested the winter carrots manually on his knees. He used his paring knife to clean a carrot for me. I still know what a real organic carrot tastes like. Those were happy moments, thank you. Eppink / IJzerlo.

IMPRESSION 1958 / YouTube



bibi ...

How many cats fit in a beer mug ? At least one. An unexpected gift from my brother yr 2015. A very welcome intruder in my life while living temporarily at a campsite. For over 15 years a companion which often avoids attention and only listens to Russian words. Living a life somewhere out for days, but always returning to home. Precious gift. Bibi ...

BIBI / YouTube




It was a sad sight: a farm desperately trying to brave the storm in February 2016, on the island of Voorne. The artifacts of many human lives were scattered everywhere. The storm put an end to the proud attitude of the finial. This piece of wood still exists to this day.

FINIAL / YouTube




“Do not talk dialect … do not visit the swimming pool on Sunday … don’t go to the pub … it's too early to marry … do not drink beer … be at home before eleven … hands on top of the blankets ... at Ascension Day to Montferland by bike with bread and Joy on the parcel carrier… yes yes! “. Until we had a moped. Then we could "sneak mopeds", "even on Sunday".





Help arrived in a barbershop in the village of Aalten. It was in the early 1970's. This hairdresser was extremely handy in creating hairstyles that my parents would not allow. I was invariably sent back to be shortened. The hairdresser claimed to the music from the radio that he was singing that song, and that he would rather be on stage than work with a comb and scissors. But ‘bacon had to be brought home’. My hairdresser was Arne Jansen.





Instagram. Initially a purely photo-sharing service, launched on iOS in October 2010. Kevin Systrom's photograph of a stray dog sitting near a taco stand in Mexico is the first image ever shared on Instagram.Instagram incorporated 15-second video sharing in June 2013. One of the first videos on Instagram is about a seagull Jonathan ( referring to Jonathan Livingstone ) passing by the Hellevoetsluis lighthouse.


Music by Neil Diamond




It looks like a disaster has happened. The houses have not been inhabited for a long time. They are boarded up to combat vandalism. Entering the houses is punishable and nuisance and / or vandalism is fined. This village turned ghost village in a very short time. Until 1977, Doel was an independent municipality with 1,300 inhabitants.



it is


It is nonsense

says reason
It is what it is
says love

It is impossible
says experience
It is what it is
says love




Jens, that is what my brother was called and recognized in his last years by his many friends ... yet often reviled and unloved ... not understood also, but understood by his children ... by me ... nevertheless he fought his battle together with his Beloved Ones against the Impossible Injustice… today 8 years ago … a picture of our hunt for old tractors… his favorite song as well …

MOODY BLUES / YouTube   



Spiegel im Spiegel

Breathe quietly. No rush. Temperatures in Europe are above comfort zones. No place to hide. Mass local migration to the beachis too dangerous for vulnerable people. Locally gridlocked roads by traffic rise tensions. Keep calm. Read a book. Breathe quietly.

дышать потихонечку   



Soon there are elections. Millions of residents are tired of the incumbent president and his government: abuse of power, repression, recession, fraud, no fight against unemployment, denial of the covid-19 virus, imprisonment of members of the opposition. With music you can wage opposition without violence. Certainly with "Change" by Tsoi. Plugged out ? Then just keep singing.




Leonard Cohen - To love Somebody (COVER)

Where did Time go ? Are you still Healthy ? Has Love remained ? All three are precious. Time is irreversible, Health is a favor, Love is reciprocal.

“Where there is Love there is Life” (Mahatma Gandhi). Do not hesitate to love now, to live now !




COHEN / The Window

" May you be surrounded by friends and family, and if this is not your lot, may the blessings find you in your solitude. "

How well this fits with the present day, with the actual or relative loneliness of people in times of Covid-19.




Life 2019-2020 at a sudden presents the ‘NEW’ … A 40- lady showed her progress in life, all of sudden … She bought smoked garlic, in the south of France, while on her way by bike … while on her way for clearing her mind and setting any future ...

JE VOLE / YouTube



Save the Last Dance for Me ...

Was I born in the wrong decade? Was my childhood a phase between the pre-war period (WW2) and the freedoms of the 1970s? Why did I have to hide my acquired freedoms from the parents? Why were my intended freedoms not recognized? Why couldn't I dance with my parents? Where's my parents' move?

THE MOVE / YouTube




Today is a day with very high temperatures in the Netherlands … meeting the beach … Alan Kurdi met the beach 2015 too, a three-year-old Syrian boy of Kurdish ethnic background whose image made global headlines after he drowned on 2 September 2015 in the Mediterranean Sea. He and his family were refugees from Syria trying to reach Europe. Photographs of his body were taken by Demir and quickly spread around the world, prompting international responses. What did we learn from this ? Indeed, it’s our freedom to meet the beach these days despite the huge traffic jams !




Those moments when you are hit, from an unexpected angle, or from an angle that you hope will happen.

The departure of a child from a family, the departure of a complete family, or the separation of your last surviving parent, but also an unexpected acceptance for who you are.

As often, the emotions are evoked or amplified by music. See for yourself what fits which emotion.

Je vole / YouTube

Gabriellas sång / YouTube



The dance ... seven months without a 'dance of life' ... covid-19 rules the world of everyday life, and of love ... giving up is not an option because a yes-is-a-yes ... too many yes'es already went into the distance… there is a lot of silence, but it is for a purpose, it is to give space for our next dance, here or there ...

Just a dance / Bruce ( YouTube )



If your adult child does not know the "sea spark" and you have never seen it yourself before. Then you go to the beach at 01:00 in the morning and you both discover a beautiful natural phenomenon.

Sea spark / YouTube



Our father, our friend, our doctor, has passed the rainbow. Such a great loss. Such a nice person, such a great father, such a fabulous doctor who was there until the last day for his patients. Rest in peace dear father, dear friend, dear doctor. Moscow.

SULIKO ( Alexandrov Ensemble )



Today's birthday has just ended. Hit by Covid-19. You can't go out on the street. Not even to visit your sick father.

YELLOW ( Scala / Coldplay )



And what will year 2020 bring ? Can we neatly close losses without blaming ? Are lovers going to stay together, do lovers each go their own way, do lovers see each other again soon ?

With or Without YOU ( Scala/Coldplay )



We let behind year 2019 in a very small circle, with the loss of people who mattered in the Netherlands and Estonia.

Thanks for the Dance (Cohen)